*sigh of utmost content*

Dear Life,

This week... kind of means a lot. Don't let it end, okay?

Love,

Steff

I really don't know what else to say.

I love him. He's the bestiest. ;D

<3

if you love your job...

... it shouldn't feel like work.

I do love my job. Sure, it annoys me when I feel like I live there, but I love who I work with and I am friends with everyone there. The Jimmy John's family means a LOT to me... and I am so glad to be a part of it.

A few of us had a scavenger hunt tonight... and it was awesome. I finally felt like I had real friends and was a part of something cool. It was nice... a new feeling I haven't had in a while. I loved it. :)

THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE DAYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. <3

Ahh, life. How I adore thee. =D

:/

It hurts more today than it has in a really long time.

Sitting on Facebook... like I always do... and having it turn 12...

Seeing the birthdays for the day... August 20th, 2010...

Seeing your name there... Remembering it was your birthday today... Getting that 'I was just hit in the face with a thrown brick.' feeling...

*sigh*

I am trying really hard to be strong today, but for some reason this is killing me all over again.

I visited him 2 days ago with Kelly. I never knew where he was. She offered to show me. It was... well... hard. I was really happy to be there... and I know I'll go back...

My heart hurts today... I'll never forget...

Happy Birthday, Mike.

I miss you... God, how I miss you.

turn off the lights, and turn off the shyness.

all of our moves make up for the silence

&& oh, the wayyyy your makeup stains my pillow case

like I'll never be the same...

~

Well. It has been an interesting couple of weeks. I am not even sure where to begin; therefore, I am just going to ramble.

*deep breath*

My sister always was the first one to tell me, "You have people in your life that aren't good people. They walk all over you, take advantage of you, use you, manipulate you... Why do you let yourself deal with that?". To be perfectly honest, I do it because I live on one simple phrase. Kill them with kindness. I have always hated violence. Sure, you'll see me spit some nasty venom at people who cross my path the wrong way, but I don't enjoy doing it. I believe that if I stay true to myself and am the person I know I can be and am striving to be, then that is all that matters. I am also a very strong believer in karma. That being said, I have no need to handle my situations with anything other than being myself. Let the karma do the work, and oh SWEET work it does.

My sister also was the first to tell me, "You are always so sad. Everyone asks me about you, and everyone is worried. Please let me know if I can help you.". Ahh, how I remember those days. It seems that NOTHING can bring me down anymore, though. It's amazing when you find someone real, someone genuine, someone true to you. They have a way of opening your eyes to everything around you that is happening and showing you things you wouldn't let yourself see. To be able to trust someone so thoroughly for the first time in my life has given me all of the happiness I need for right now. I am SURE that I annoy them all of the time by the compliments I give or the 'cute' things I'll say, but I only say it because it's true. I've never had someone care like that other than family... so it's a monumental deal for me.

Anywho, I am just pretty much at that point in my life where I don't really care what people think of me anymore. I don't feel the need to guard my true feelings. I don't have any desire to associate with people that made me someone I wasn't any longer. As of right now, I am me. I'm doing me. That's all I can do, and it's something I do best.

You don't like it? Sucks. You probably got told I was done anyway. :)

Oh, and a little P.S. moment:

6 days until my life is changed for the best. (or so i hope... because God knows I am seriously worried that I am not all what I'm expected to be...)

*fin*

finally.

Boy, have I waited to say THIS one for a long time.

Hi, my name is Stefanie. Some people call me Stef. Some people (and by that, I mean one person) calls me Steff. I digress. Anyway, the day has finally come.

I love myself.

I love who I am.

I love who I am with.

I love what is happening in my life.

I love my body.

I love my personality.

I love my friends.

I love my family.

I love life.

My name is Stefanie, and the post from a few months ago is SO not me.

EAT IT.

:)