i love the shit outta you, girl.

wow.

what a very long and stressful night.

what needed to be done is finally done. i almost wonder if i did the right thing with that, but at the same time i really know that i did.

i just don't want either party mad at me.

overall, i think it will be so much better for both.

in other news, i am an idiot.

well, not really news at all, but it's becoming clearer and clearer to me now. especially since i am emotionally retarded.

my heart tends to backstab me. how the fuck does that even work?

whatever. all in all, i think i just am in need of a very long soul searching moment.

i need to clear my head and work out my problems, because lately i am NOT happy. most of the things that are making me happy should be, i guess, but the main one is kinda pathetic (and when i say kinda, i mean REALLY FUCKING) and... i feel absolutely like a 10 year old girl rather than a close-to 18 year old woman.

god, is it so wrong to just have something work in my god damn favor?!?!

bleh. it's been a long night/day. sleep is lacking...

where have my guards gone with you? why do i feel like i can be myself for real and not have to be afraid? why are you affecting me like this?

fuckshitdamn.

college. now. seriously.